Not long ago, I bought a used stereo receiver in a pawn shop.
I brought it home. It didn't work. I took it back. I explained to the man at the counter, that it turns on, but after about 30 seconds it shuts off. The man had a bald head, and I only mention that, because his head and ears turned BRIGHT RED when he told me that I might have experienced a power surge in my house. I asked him to plug it in. He did. It turned on but after about 30 seconds it turned off. I asked him if HE just had a power surge in his store? He was red and silent gathering his thoughts. He said, "You might have jostled it." He kind of have a lisp.
I said, "Did you say, jostled it?" To my surprise, I also had a lisp. (You try it...jostled, out loud...now imagine saying it in a heated argument.)He said, "Yes you might have jostled it taking it to your house."
(When he sold it to me, it still had the box with that rigid white foam and we put it in that box when I took it home.)
So I said, "Most of this stereo equipment travels 5000 miles from Japan being jostled the entire journey, so how can you possibly say I jostled it taking it home in the cab of my truck."
He was silent, his head and ears were still red but his lips were thin and white. I called on my magical powers, snapped my fingers, and gave him the Rocky Mountain Quick Steps.
The conclusion of this little story is a bit anti-climatic. That word, jostled... threw me off. It calmed me down.
So I said, "Your not going to give me my money back, are you?"
He said he was not allowed to do that. I looked around. He looked like the owner to me, and I thought to myself. "What are you going to do, fire yourself?"
So I said, "FINE! Thank you very much, you have a nice day."
I had to take it to an electronics repair shop.
That is all I have to say about that.
Except this.
Last summer, Cari filled her unleaded car with diesel. I know what you are thinking. You can't do that, the nozzle is larger than the hole. (Unless you stand there and hold the nozzle manually for however long it takes to pump and top off 15 gallons of fuel.)
8 comments:
Oh my goodness, you're as funny as ever! My husband will be so excited you've started a blog.
These are the funniest stories, love it, keep them comin!
Awesome, Jimmy.
ha! One of the funniest stories! I can still remember the day Mom told you she did that! So funny! Love her! I love that you are writing these all down!
oh my...diesel is not a mixer. :O
...and...btw... I hear "As you wish" way too much around our place... If anyone... I AM THE FARM BOY (girl)in this group...."Princess Bride" a well versed and favorite here.
I think next time I happen to be in a heated argument I may just throw "jostled " in there and see if it calms me down.....and then maybe "salted or un-salted " with a lisp (ask Todd if you don't remember that one). I literally laugh out loud reading this! Love it!
Oh my gosh Jimmy- Perry and I were dying laughing. Andrew had been on your website, from Iraq may I mention, and posted to our family website your last entry. We have been following your site as a family. But what made us laugh so hard is that Christi filled their new Tundra with diesel also. Same scenerio, holding the nozzle because it won't fit in. I still don't think Perry Max can laugh about it, thousands of dollars later. I think I will keep my many stupid mistakes to my self.
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